Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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