But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
