is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
