Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
