he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
