Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize