you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
