i permit you to call me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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