I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
