she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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