she was so not down for the gang bang
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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