I wish you could order shots online.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
