Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
