It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
