Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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