Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
