the condom got lost in my hair
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
