Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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