I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
