You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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