we have officially lost it.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
