Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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