just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
