i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
