We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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