haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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