Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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