i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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