well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
