Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
