Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
