what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
this is an emotional support booty call
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
