Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
