Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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