I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
