I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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