Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
