You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
