I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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