there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
