Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
