ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
