Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
