I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
