Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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