I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
