bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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