Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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