I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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