I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
